Ps. I love you

Long distance relationships are difficult.

Screenshot 2017-03-28 12.21.04

They require more work and are less fun than having your partner within your general vicinity. I can’t count the amount of Skype calls that have ended in tears and left me torn. There have been days when I make a call before leaving the house and have to wash my face and reapply my make-up… only to realise that it’s become dark out. By this point, I lack the will power to make it out of the house to enjoy the city on my day off from work.

The best days are the busy days where I don’t have time to pine over my past in London and the person I miss most. I try my best to keep a schedule and not sleep through the sunrise after late night conversations with my husband on his commute to work in the morning. The time difference makes it difficult to catch one another. Half of our conversations are when we’re half awake. Often times struggling to stay awake past 2am to talk to my husband while he groggily prepares for a long commute to his job leaves me exhausted in the mornings. I hit the snooze button before reluctantly deciding to go about my day before having an existential crisis under the covers.

Before I met my husband I wouldn’t have ever thought I would engage in a long distance relationship, let alone a long distance marriage. It’s practically unheard of, isn’t it? Strict visa laws are probably the most common reason for long distance marriages that I’ve heard of. I’ve met people that haven’t been allowed to visit their wife or support her during pregnancy and childbirth.

Luckily my visa situation is not as bleak, and there is a light shining at the end of the tunnel. The light gets brighter as the months go by. A future of stability and happiness seem to be brightening at the edge of the horizon everyday the sun rises. This silver lining is probably the only things that helps me get through each day.

The UK spousal visa law requires the British counterpart of the relationship to earn a salary that they deem adequate for a minimum of 6 months before their spouse can even begin the visa application process. Most applicant’s that don’t pay the hefty fee of over £1,000 for a lawyer aren’t approved the first time they apply for their visa. Each application costs a lot as well. It’s not an easy process and has left us stressed and sad as we struggle to live in over priced cities across the Atlantic.

My 6 month American holiday tourist visa expired nearly 3 months ago. I returned to my home country just in time for Trump’s presidency… a rather dark veil over everything else. I decided to live in a new city during this period despite people’s words of discouragement and the looming fear of loneliness. I grew up in Los Angeles and lived in San Francisco for over half a decade. I wanted to see what life would be like on the opposite coast of the USA in the most costly and cold city of them all, New York. All I can say is that it’s been the coldest winter yet.

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