Isn’t it beautiful how listening to a certain song can not only evoke a special memory, but transcend time and space to bring you back to a time and place? The moment the song starts you forget where you are. It’s almost as though you’re floating in space. You forget the time of day and drop all of your responsibilities. You would prefer to travel back in time, hit the rewind button and revel in the past than do anything else in the world. When you close your eyes, it’s like you’re there all over again. The moment the song starts everything else stops. It’s the ultimate escape.
For 3 minutes and 41 seconds, my heart gets heavy and my mouth goes dry. My eyes well up because I want to cry. I shut my eyes in my best effort not to. I wish I could go back in time. My throat begins to close and I choke instead, feeling as though I swallowed lead.
Every time I listen to Floating in space by Spiritualised, I remember the first kiss I shared with my husband.
My body temperature increases and I get chills down my arms. I can feel myself overheating just like I did on that night, but the hairs on the back of my neck are still standing straight. I can feel the sweat build up on the back of my neck and the smaller beads accumulate along my hairline. My legs grow weak like rubber and my knees start to shake. I feel as though I’m about to faint.
I feel a mixture of sadness and relief that this boy I fancied found me lost in a sea of strangers when I thought I was alone. When he found me I was sitting on the floor with my head in my hands. He held his hand out to me and helped me up with a genuine smile that extended across his face. He led me back into the crowd of people. I felt sick and weak from lack of sleep. I had just given up on finding him in the crowd. In the moments that he found me, I found myself questioning why I went to that music festival alone. In retrospect, I now know that there was somebody there that I was destined to meet. That person was him.
I continually look up at him to make sure he’s still there even though he’s holding me up. Sometimes he’s watching the band and sometimes we meet each other’s eyes. I move his hair behind his ears and look up at him for reassurance. I smile to say thank you for finding me in the crowd and preventing me from falling into a darker head space. He smiles back with his eyes before a smile forms across his face. That’s when our lips meet. We embrace one another for a long time afterwards. I take a deep breath of relief and felt as though I really was floating in space. It felt as though I had been waiting the duration of my lifetime for this moment.
This was the first time Nat and I kissed. The night that Spiritualised headlined Liverpool Psych Fest was the most memorable moment I’ve shared with another human in a crowd of people at a music festival.
It was the moment a new chapter began in our lives together.